I know they love me, but I always get bored with my parents, especially when they try to control my life, what can I do?
Before you read this long article, it is important to know that:
- conflicts with your parents are not a “disease”, they are normal and problems will always arise when people get along.
- recognise that it is normal to be bored with your parents’ discipline and to always be ‘loving’ towards them.
- When violence or psychological problems arise in your family relationships, it is important to consult a professional psychologist and seek help.
Why am I always bored with my parents
Boredom is a feeling that many of us experience from time to time. It can be especially frustrating when it happens with people we love, such as our parents. If you’re feeling bored with your parents, you’re not alone. Many teenagers and young adults feel the same way. But why does this happen, and what can you do about it?
1. Don’t always be together
One reason you may feel bored with your parents is that you’ve spent a lot of time with them. You may feel like you already know everything there is to know about them, and there’s nothing left to talk about. This is a common feeling, but it’s not necessarily true. Your parents are complex people with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If you take the time to really listen to them and ask them questions, you may be surprised by what you learn.
2. Finding the same interests
Another reason you may feel bored with your parents is that you have different interests. Maybe your parents enjoy watching the news or reading books, while you prefer playing video games or listening to music. It’s natural to have different interests, but it can make it hard to find things to do together. If this is the case, try to find a compromise. Maybe you can take turns choosing an activity to do together. Or, you can try to find something new that you both enjoy, like a new hobby or a TV show.
3. Seek professional help
Sometimes, boredom with our parents can be a sign of something deeper. It could be a symptom of a larger issue, like depression or anxiety. If you’re feeling consistently bored and disinterested in things you used to enjoy, it may be worth talking to a mental health professional. They can help you identify any underlying issues and work through them.
Ultimately, feeling bored with your parents is a normal part of growing up. It’s natural to want to explore new things and spend time with friends. But, it’s also important to remember that your parents are a valuable resource. They have a wealth of knowledge and experience, and they love you unconditionally. If you’re feeling bored, try to find new ways to connect with them. Ask them questions, try new activities, and most importantly, listen to what they have to say. You may be surprised by what you learn, and you might even develop a deeper appreciation for the people who raised you.
Also read: What is the Best Way to Live a Happy Life?
Psychological terminology: negative bias
Negative bias is a cognitive bias where we tend to focus on and remember negative information more than positive information. This can affect our perceptions, judgments, and behaviors towards people, situations, and events.
The conflict between parents and children
In the context of conflicts between parents and children, negative bias can manifest in a number of ways. For example, a child who has had several negative interactions with their parent, such as being scolded or punished for not doing something right, may develop a negative bias towards their parent. They may come to believe that their parent is always angry or disappointed with them, even if this is not the case.
Similarly, a parent who has had several negative interactions with their child, such as arguments over homework or curfew, may develop a negative bias towards their child. They may come to believe that their child is always lazy or disobedient, even if this is not the case.
Conflict is not “abnormal”
Negative bias can also affect how conflicts between parents and children are resolved. For example, if a parent has a negative bias towards their child, they may be more likely to punish or criticize them for their behavior, even if it was unintentional or a mistake. Similarly, if a child has a negative bias towards their parent, they may be less likely to listen to their parent’s perspective or follow their guidance.
Negative bias can be difficult to overcome, but it’s important to recognize when it’s happening and try to shift our focus towards more positive information. For parents and children in conflict, this may mean actively seeking out positive interactions, such as praising each other for good behavior or accomplishments, and trying to approach conflicts from a place of understanding and empathy. By recognizing our negative biases and working to overcome them, we can improve our relationships with our loved ones and create a more positive and harmonious family dynamic.
Negativity bias is a cognitive bias that explains why negative events or feelings typically have a more significant impact on our psychological state than positive events or feelings, even when they are of equal proportion.
——The Decision Lab
How to get along with parents better?
Getting along with parents is an important part of building healthy and positive relationships with your family members. Here are some tips to help you improve your relationship with your parents:
- Communication: Communication is key in any relationship, and the same applies to your relationship with your parents. Take the time to listen to their perspective and share your own thoughts and feelings with them. Be respectful and try to avoid using hurtful language, even when you disagree with them [1].
- Show appreciation: Show your parents that you appreciate them and the things they do for you. This can be as simple as saying thank you or doing something nice for them, like cooking them dinner or helping with household chores.
- Spend time together: Spending time together as a family is a great way to build stronger relationships. This can be anything from watching a movie, playing a game, or going on a family outing. Find activities that you all enjoy and make time to do them together.
- Respect boundaries: Respect your parents’ boundaries and expectations, such as curfews and household rules. These boundaries are in place to keep you safe and help you grow into a responsible adult.
- Practice empathy: Try to see things from your parents’ perspective and understand their motivations and concerns. This can help you communicate better and find common ground [2].
- Seek support: If you’re having trouble getting along with your parents, seek support from a trusted friend, teacher, or counselor. They can help you navigate your relationship and provide you with strategies to improve your communication and connection with your parents.
Remember, building a positive relationship with your parents takes time and effort from both parties. Be patient, consistent, and willing to work on your relationship, and you will see positive changes over time.
When should I seek medical help?
If something is going wrong in your relationship with your parents, seeking help from a healthcare professional such as a doctor or therapist can be a good option. Here are some signs that may indicate it’s time to seek professional help:
- Persistent conflicts: If you are constantly having conflicts with your parents and are unable to resolve them on your own, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can be beneficial. They can provide you with strategies to communicate better and work through your conflicts.
- Negative emotions: If you are experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety, depression, or anger related to your relationship with your parents, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can help you process these emotions and develop coping strategies.
- Abuse or neglect: If you are experiencing abuse or neglect at the hands of your parents, it’s important to seek help from a doctor or therapist immediately. They can provide you with resources to get to safety and support you through the healing process.
- Substance abuse: If you are using drugs or alcohol to cope with your relationship with your parents, seeking help from a doctor or therapist can help you address your substance abuse and work through your relationship issues.
- Major life changes: If you are going through major life changes such as divorce or moving, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can help you navigate these changes and maintain a healthy relationship with your parents.
It’s important to remember that seeking help from a doctor or therapist is a sign of strength, not weakness. They can provide you with the support and resources you need to improve your relationship with your parents and maintain your overall well-being.
